Tarte Self Tanner Review...Need it or Leave it?

I try, really I do.  I am just very, very pale.  I am the kind of pale that announces at Sephora, "Just give me your lightest shade!"  It always matches.  One time someone (obviously some stupid man [hubs: "NOTHING TO SEE HERE"]) told me that I would be pretty if I had a tan.  Le sigh.  This year, I decided to try something new...self tanner!

Not just any old self tanner-oh no!  It had to be (somewhat) gloriously crunchy!  After lots of research I found myself with my old standby, Tarte.  I purchased the skin rejuvinating self tanner with the mitt, and I gleefully went home to try out my purchase.  I followed the instructions, banished the kids downstairs with the hubs and set to work.

After about 5 minutes, I realized I was in deep trouble.  There was NO WAY that I could reach all of the places on the back of my arms and shoulders without help.  Give me your secrets ladies!  Help a newbie out!  I ran downstairs in a state of undress that made me hope that all of the blinds were closed and begged the hubs to help.  Well, the look of horror on his face was comical, but not helpful.  He did help me however, his self tanner skills were even worse than mine [hubs: "AGAIN, NOTHING TO SEE HERE"].  We desperately tried to keep it from streaking and did an ok job.  I did have to redo the first arm that he applied the tanner on. Of course, it helped when we figured out that the mitt was, well, a MITT!  We had been using as some sort of sponge/paper towel.

PRO TIP: Insert hand INTO the mitt. Do not use it like a pot holder!

I had a much easier time applying the tanner evenly to my legs. I can definitely do that myself.  It was pretty hard to keep the tanner even without leaving any uneven patches or streaks.  The mitt (SEE PRO-TIP ABOVE) was helpful, and allowed me to blend any streak that I found until it faded.

Overall, I am pleased with the results, and I will try it again.  Honestly, I think I would just pay for a spray tan.  It was freaking stressful man!  Who wants to walk around all streaky and patchy?  The hubs and the kids didn't like the way I smelled, though I thought it smelled pretty nice.  You also have to wait at least 8 hours to shower and I felt pretty sticky and weird.

Do I win at being super girly today?  Probably not.  Points should be given for trying in this category.  Honorable mention perhaps?

xo and happy tanning,

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