My last little baby

Unless God has other plans for us, Belle will be our last baby.  As I sit here nursing her on the eve of her first birthday I am having all of the feelings.   All of them.

I am sad that I won't have anymore tiny babies that stretch when you pick them up, smile with toothless gums and smell so nice.

I really love having babies.  I just don't like being pregnant.   They are such an amazing blessing.   I love experiencing the newness of life through little eyes.  I love being the first smile recipient,  the bottom patter, the Boo Boo kisser.

I'm also excited and a little nervous about our new phase of life.  One where the Honeybadger starts kindergarten and I only have one child in diapers.  

I look forward to the day that I can sleep in (just a little) and not have to get up in the middle of the night, every night.   I keep trying to tell myself that anyway.

My heart hurts today.  My babies are growing up too fast.   I would happily accept a virtual cheers and a hug.


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